Peer, Belgium - Each year, everyone from solopreneurs to Forbes 500 companies compete for to be International Peanut Butter King, colloquially known as “The Oscars of Food”.
In 2025, the crown was won by the New Zealand team from Movebot, with PB consumption at a hitherto unknown scale. But it was not without its challengers.
One major media company took inspiration from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, with entire legions of employees dedicated to buying and eating peanut butter to prove their dedication. “It worked for the movie, so I figured it would in real life too,” says Rhys Pisces, developer of the operation, “but Movebot’s genuine love for PB gave them a legume up.”
Movebot’s devotion to peanut butter came in the sheer amount of PB moved through its data migration platform. “It’s normal for me, I mean us, to go through several PB at a time,” Movebot marketer Dallen Clark mentioned, a peanut-esque mantle draping from his shoulders. When asked if he was wearing the attire because of a leak in the results, he remarked, “I wear this every day; we can't avoid PB if we tried."
Members of the team have, in fact, tried. “I don’t even like peanut butter,” anonymous developer (James) said, psychosis evident in his gaze as PB was moving all around him. The developer has since been released from employment due to mental health complications from "going nuts".
The Movebot team is proud of their accomplishment and have already displayed the golden jar proudly along with other PB memorabilia. At one time, Movebot HQ was adorned with Great Britain (GB) and Tablespoon (TB) tchotchkes, but with how prominent and well-known their data migration tool has become, the allure of PB could no longer be ignored.
Asked if Movebot will defend the crown next year, Clark declared, “I can’t see us slowing down anytime soon. While the rest of the world stays still, we’re a JIF [sic].”
And until next year: Don't be a Fool!
